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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,047

    Default Superfans...

    [fade in to Superfans sitting around the Rare Bear hanger, tossing back a few brewskis...]

    Bill Swerski: Good afternoon, my friends, and welcome to "Bill Swerski's Super Fans"! I'm Bill Swerski, and with me, as always, are the Super Fans: Pat Arnold...

    Pat: Hey Bill.

    Bill: ...Todd O'Conner...

    Todd: Bill.

    Bill: ...and Carl Wollarski.

    Carl: How ya' doin', Bill?

    Bill: Alright, we're talking here, live from the Bear Cave, in the heart of Reno, Nevada. The Biggest Little City in the World, and home, of course, to a certain plane, which has carved out a special place in the pantheon of professional air racing. That plane, which is known the world over, as...Da Bear!

    Superfans: DA BEAR!

    Bill: Okay, okay, by my watch, we're about 10 months from race time. As you are sure aware, Da Bear is getting ready for the big race against Dago Red. Now, lets go around the room for some predictions. Pat?

    Pat: Da Bear, 620 mph to 300 mph.

    Bill: Okay....Todd?

    Todd: Bear. 790 mph to zip.

    Bill: Oh, really? You don't think that Dago will finish?

    Todd: No, I do NOT! Da Bear is like a wall. You can't beat that.

    Bill: Alright. How about you, Carl?

    Carl: I say, Bear 520 mph to 140 mph.

    Pat: WHAT? Come on....

    Carl: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I gotta give the Dago crew some credit--I think they'll give Da Bear a race.

    Bill: Alright, alright, leave him alone...that's his perogative! As for MY prediction...at races-end, uh...there will be two planes of contrasting moods heading off the race course, my friends. One glum, one gleeful. The gleeful of which will be...Da Bear!

    Superfans: DA BEAR!

    Bill: 740 mph to 200 mph! I mean, after all...our radial pride is on the line. Because, let's face it, if Dago were to somehow beat Da Bear, we'd never hear the end of it.

    Todd: Oh, they'd LOVE it over there!

    Bill: You know, it's absurd, really, that we would even have to waste our time comparing ourselves to that kelp-covered inline!

    Carl: Absolutely!

    Bill: Alright now, let me shift gears here for a moment. What IS God's role in this? Obviously, he's rooting for Da Bear.

    Pat: Otherwise, he wouldn't have given it a radial.

    Carl: That's right!

    Bill: That's right. The question is: Now, did God creat Da Bear, and MAKE it superior to all other Unlimiteds? Or is he simply a huge fan, and Shelton made it superior to all other Unlimiteds?

    Carl: That's a tough one, Bill...

    Bill: Okay, okay, gentlemen, now let me ask you this: What if Da Bear was only a radio controlled model, you know, about four feet long? Now, who wins the race?

    Carl: Against Dago?

    Bill: Yes, give it a handicap.

    Carl: Bear 180 mph, Dago 100 mph. And that would FINALLY be a good race.

    Pat: Yeah that WOULD be a good race. Mini Bear 240 mph, Dago 140 mph.

    Todd: What about Penney? Would he be mini, too?

    Bill: No, he would be full-grown, and handling the r/c unit.

    Todd: Oh, then, uh...Mini Bear 310 mph, Dago 70 mph.

    Carl: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine too. I thought it was a mini Penney.

    Bill: Okay, final scenario. Da Bear, it doesn't make it. They lose a cylinder and the plane can't run. But Shelton makes Penney fly around the course in an ultra light. Penney vs. Dago. Okay, outcome, gentlemen?

    Pat: Alright...WITH an air start? I gotta say Penney 170, Dago 140. He just BARELY gets by.

    Bill. Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a little last lap nitrous action from the ultra light.

    Carl: Penney, but it's close.

    Todd: Bear.

    Superfans: DA BEAR!

    [fade out to the sound of a radial starting up in the distance...]

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    145

    Default Re: Superfans...

    Too funny, speed: ROTFLMAO
    SteveZ

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Redding, California
    Posts
    460

    Thumbs up Re: Superfans...

    LOL...Love it!

    Don Hatten
    Rare Bear Fansponsor
    "Da Bear"

  4. #4
    Hawkeye Guest

    Default Re: Superfans...

    But, But, But.... What about September Fury???
    It's got a radial....

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Redding, California
    Posts
    460

    Default Re: Superfans...

    Sure, September Fury does have a radial...

    ...but it's not DA BEAR!

    Don Hatten
    Rare Bear Fansponsor

    Speeddemon, you crack me up

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    The Desert
    Posts
    192

    Default Re: Superfans...

    PUT THE CRACK PIPE DOWN!!!!
    Scotty G

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,047

    Default Re: Superfans...

    Quote Originally Posted by Scotty G
    PUT THE CRACK PIPE DOWN!!!!
    [Scotty Germain enters the hanger to sit in on the discussion, dressed in his Dago Red jacket and Unleashed hat]

    Bill Swerski: Hey, as you fans know, some celebrities like to frequent the Bear Cave from time to time. And crew-member/web-master, and soon-to-be race pilot Scotty Germain has just sat down with us. Now Scotty...what do you think the outcome of a race like that would be, eh? John Penney in an Ultra Light vs. Skip in Dago? Now remember, Penney's ONLY in an Ultra Light, not in Da Bear.

    Scotty: Okay. I'm gonna say Skip by about.......800 mph.

    Bill: Oh, you do, DO YOU? Great, Scotty....now, are you FROM the Dago Camp?

    Carl: Yeah, he LIVES there, eh Pat?

    Bill: You LIKE it on that team, Scotty? You can STAY there, as far as I'M concerned.

    Scotty: No, no, it's just that...you see, he's in an Ultra Light, and...

    Bill: Yeah, that's alright....just take your website and your Lancair and go home! Get outta here, Scotty!

    Todd: Yeah, go shoot somebody with your camera!

    [Scotty slinks out, but not before 'zapping' Da Bear with a WarbirdAeroPress decal]

    Bill: Alright, now lets get on with our discussion. Da Bear versus the Assembled Choir of Heavenly Angels....

    Pat: The WHOLE Chior?

    Bill: Well, Seraphone, Jerebone...the whole nine yards.

    Pat: Angels

    Carl: Angels.....but it's close.

    Todd: BEAR!

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