Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

[sandramore]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

...so many of you have been lurking here...it took such a tragedy for you to share your thoughts and feelings with us...continuing conversation helps to get us all through this...we all lost a little of ourselves that day...thank you for keeping this thread alive..

I'm just really glad you started this thread.

Chris said in the newest memorial video thread that he's starting to be able to sleep without drugs. We're almost three weeks out, and, I don't know who else is noticing this, but I actually feel worse. As though the disbelief and numbness is finally starting to wear off. Anyone else running into this?

[spacegrrrl]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I'm just really glad you started this thread.

Chris said in the newest memorial video thread that he's starting to be able to sleep without drugs. We're almost three weeks out, and, I don't know who else is noticing this, but I actually feel worse. As though the disbelief and numbness is finally starting to wear off. Anyone else running into this?

Yesterday was the worst day yet for me. I was physically shaken when I watched the recently posted "pull up" video and felt the saddest I have so far after the latest tribute video.

I realized that I had found a distraction in trying in my own mind to figure out what I think happened. Now I believe there isn't anything else to ponder, no new data coming so I have a conclusion and that distraction is lost to me so I'm having to come to grips with the human part of it all.

Now its all down to the sorting through the feelings and the waiting....

Spacegrrrl

[AiRick]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I thought today was going to be the first day that I would not cry over what I saw. Well I was wrong, maybe tomorrow will be that day. I think that this thread has been good for me to know others have also been having problems with this. I just want thank all of you for your stories and support. Eric

[Sky Critter]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

The "pull up" video shot from the VOS got to me as well. Until now, at least in my mind, we were further away from the point of impact. I can see our group in the reserved stands in this video and now realize we were closer than previously thought.

I haven't felt "right" since. Not sure when I will. Like the previous post; "maybe tomorrow..."

[flyingjibus]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I just watched that Valley of speed on tuesday video that was just posted and lost it here at work..

Hadn't thought about it for almost a week.

My grief is changing shape, at first I was mostly distraught about losing Jimmy and the Ghost, but I think I am now actually dealing with the horror of the whole thing. Slow motion horror. Jimmy upside down over the reserved section. Knowing it was going into the crowd while it still coming down.

[flyingjibus]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Wow, just realized it is exactly one month ago that this happened.

[JLKnolla]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

New member here, finally joined.

I have not had the pleasure of attending Reno yet, it seems there is always something 'else' to do, work, etc. Assuming the races continue, I will be there in 2012.

I had just gotten home from work, left early, and caught the news. I was dumbfounded. The fog of early reporting was interrupted by a call from a good friend from Seattle, a friend of his was there, and was supposed to be in the boxes - we commiserated the loss of Jimmy and spectators and the Ghost.

I also started to check on a couple of guys from my EAA Chapter who were on-site - it took 3 days to find out they were OK. Next morning we found out his friend had indeed been very near the impact. The relief from learning our friends were OK was offset as the full number of fatalities and injuries became obvious.

As an engineer, pilot and armchair designer, I have always marvelled at the Warbirds and their continued domination of the Unlimited class. As a long time Rare Bear fan, I actually was pulling for GG this year, in many ways GG was the ultimate evolution of a race plane as it campaigned these past 2 years.

Over the 25 years or so since I started flying, I have been equally amazed at the type of people that aviation attracts, and Jimmy Leeward was a great example of that. Competitive, influential, massively successful yet ever approachable, and always willing to share the passion that borders on obsession that aviation is for so many of us fortunate enough to have the resources to enjoy it. Shots of him sharing his love for aviation with children bring a tear to my eye every time.

I believe the races will continue, and if there are actionable technical or operational lessons to be learned, they will be.

The best therapy I am having is by making sure that the endless BS surrounding this accident is countered in a rationale and fact-based way.

Another therapy could come from helping the injured - as a below-knee amputee (due to congenital birth defect), I know that the injured can make as complete a recovery as they choose to, and am happy to provide any guidance about dealing with limb loss to anyone that the more active board members with direct involvement might know.

Thanks for having such a great forum and a great community!

[hattend]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

My wife said we got a letter from RARA yesterday wanting to know if anybody in our box got hurt. They wanted names and addresses. Luckily it was just 3 of us in our box and none were struck.

My wife is still having nightmares. I told her to make an appointment with her friend who is a grief counselor and see if she is PTSD. She's been sleeping long, kinda down, listless. He had told her a week after the accident that she may have some stress after a trauma.

I'm not sure if PTSD is what Mike Houghton and RARA are looking for, the letter makes it sound like they are looking for injured who didn't go to the hospital.

Anybody else get a letter like this?

Don Hatten
Go Bear!

[sandramore]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Wow, just realized it is exactly one month ago that this happened.

It still feels like it just happened. Eric, I'm sending hugs and loving thoughts your way.

I've been trying to stay busy. Stewart's online fundraiser gave me someplace to go when the insomnia hit. I can't watch the crash videos without getting queasy and having an anxiety attack. The memorial video still makes me cry every time I watch it.

I'll be glad when September rolls around. I don't know about anyone else, but I really need to spend time at the airport with a bunch of you, toast Jimmy, and then share some hugs and tears.

[bulldawg66]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

One month... myself and my family have been doing better and better mentally concerning the crash. Friends have finally stopped asking "were you there? were you close to the crash? etc., etc.," but the dreams have started. Every night I see it over and over again. My hands are clasped to the sides of my head, screaming "No! Oh my God, Oh my God!" over and over again. I'm sure this will subside with time, but I must say a resounding "Thank You!" to all my friends on AAFO for helping me through this.
Once again, Long Live RARA and NCAR! I will be seeing y'all next September come hell or high water!

Love Y'all, and God Bless!

Tom

[GeeBeeZ1931]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

It's still so clear. I want to forget but think I should remember it all at the same time. I had a ringside seat at the top of reserve seating right above the crash. I saw the whole flight from the moment of the pitch up. I was frozen in place thinking my number was up but didn't move an inch as I stared in HORROR as it all unfolded. I cried. It was just too unreal to have just happened. Very shortly after that I got contact info from my stand neighbors and headed for the bus in shock. Back to motel and told my roommate who'd slept in that I was glad he wasnt there to see it. Then I ran him out so I could call support at home and break down. Even now it still hurts too much. Tears again. Happens each time I tell someone about it. For once I didn't mind at all that the races were canceled. Like Mike Houghton said so well "the fun is over"! I think I want the Air Races to go on and also think I want to be there again but it's still too soon to know and healing still needs to be done. I wonder if I can watch again rooting for more speed without being all tied up in a knot inside.

[flyingjibus]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

It still feels like it just happened. Eric, I'm sending hugs and loving thoughts your way.
.

If you were talking to me you should know I am not Eric. My name is Jesse.

[sandramore]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

If you were talking to me you should know I am not Eric. My name is Jesse.

Nice to meet you, Jesse.

Those hugs were for our AiRick, but I've got lots and am quite willing to share.

[AiRick]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Its alway nice to get Hugs! Thanks

[arcticrail]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I was going to have to deal with this eventually...sorting through my photos from the entire week; avoiding the folder marked 9-16-2011 as long as I could. The day started out like every other day at Reno in September, full of smiles and promise. Many of you are photographers and I'm sure you understand what it means to have photographed an event and never have "seen" it. I wish that was the case. I share the box with Ron L., his boys and a whole lot of other good people. I was leaning on a long lens waiting for them to come by the home pylon for pictures...I saw the pull up and I never lifted the camera to my eye. Today, I wished I had; the pictures are forever in my head and they don't go away.

The sting has lessened over the past month but sorting through the Friday pics teared me up again.

If the best way to honor someone is to remember them, I will remember them all.

Kenny