Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

[Hans Oberev]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I was backing out of my driveway in Reno on my way to Truckee to play a gig. I had just invited my boss, a former Vietnam Navy fighter pilot to the gig. He texted me about the crash in his typical short, to the point SEFMFP manner. I had my fiance search for news on her cell phone. Her first words were The Galloping Ghost. My heart sank. I had just spent the entire day Thursday in the pits and had plans to spend Sat in the VOS. I played the gig with my newly acquired Rare Bear shirt on underneath my short sleeve dress shirt with the outline of the plane visible under my neck. The music went well but I was on auto pilot...my mind was on Stead. The next day I went for a late afternoon hike on the Tahoe Rim Trail near Tahoe Meadows past Mt Rose. While lying on a rock with a view of the lake I closed my eyes and just tried to make sense of what I was feeling. At 3:57 I told my fiance I wanted to stay until a few minutes past 4:10 which is when I think the accident took place. A few minutes later I heard a noise directly above, opened my eyes and saw a giant bird fly away from the top of a big pine tree. A big gray bird! I looked at my watch, it was 4:10.

[Curt]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I was working for the Nag Express Crew this year as the runner for the Jet Class. There was some paperwork that needed to be delivered to the Jet pits and I began my ride down to deliver it to the Jet Pits, this was just after the Unlimiteds took off.
Each time I heard them coming around the final pylon down the front stretch I would stop and watch to se what the order was. By lap 3 I was directly behind the main Grandstands on the street on the far side of the fence, I watched Strega go by then I heard a strange sound to my left, when I turned and saw what was going on for the first time I felt fear at the races. When I saw Jimmy he was at the top of the climb and rolling left and beginning to head down. For a very long time in my mind she was nose on to me and coming down right at me. At this point everything was happening in slow motion
It seamed like hours went by and then I could see it tracking away from me, I continued to follow him down and realized where he was going to end up, there was an undescribable sound this whole time but the worst thing I saw was the Ghost dive down in front of the stands out of my sight. From the size of her in comparison to the stands I knew where she was going. Then came the impact and the debris and the dark smoke rise into the air, Then Silence.

After a few seconds time began to move normally again and I realized there was no fire and at this point I got physically sick, I ended up back in the pits at the Nag shack and we all ended up helping keeping a clear path from the pit gate out towards the flight line for emergency vehicles. My heart broke each time an ambulance passed by heading downtown but I know that whoever was in the ambulance had a chance unlike so many others.

I got home yesterday and after reading other peoples storys I was finaly able to get my thoughts into words

[tuffer]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Wayne you are not the only one with the numb feeling. I work in the announcers area and was about 50 feet from the impact. At that time I did not think I would be here to write this. After the incident walked back to RARA hangear and turned in radios. Left the field and went back to the hotel. I couldn't forget what had happened. Decided to call the airlines and see if I could get out early. Flew home Sat. don't remember a thing about the flights. Still numb, I figure it will hit in time. Just glad to be with family. have talked to a few people that would normally have been there and thankfully were not. Other than that I have not talked much, listened to the news or paid much attention to the web sites. Time will heal.

[sandramore]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I agree, Wayne, I think we have a mission now. It's up to us to educate people about the aircraft and the races, and we must do everything we can to ensure the races take place next year.

I know we have to be careful what we say, but I don't think it's a bad idea to start sending email to every news outlet that prints or broadcasts misinformation, speculation or behaves like a ghoul.

I think the Gazette Journal is probably the place to start. Other news sources are reprinting their info as though it were gospel. Talk about speculation and rumour spreading. I really resent what they're doing.

Wayne, have you seen Neal lately? I haven't seen him in ages. I'd love to see what he's taken of the Ghost.

m3e46333, I for one would love to see the video. That's how I want to remember Jimmy, kickin' Bear's ass.

[Leo]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

The oddest sensations.
Once GG went over the top and headed down time slowed incredibly. People later descriped the engine sound as screaming. I heard it sputtering, fairly quietly, and until the last instant thought, it's mushing out slowly, he's going to miss. Even the sounds were distorted and strange. After impact everything was so clear and slow. Time came back to reality when I heard a clang and noticed a prop blade had just passed us by a couple of feet. Looking up, there was an incredible amount of junk flying towards us and I realised we were in it's path. I grabbed my father in law, ducked us down and only got pelted by asphalt chunks I think, I saw no metal or anything else. Somehow I got a oil blotch on my back that I did not notice until much later.
It has taken a couple days to put away all the personal realizations of fate, timing, shock and horror and focus on those less fortunate than we were. Helping me was the flood of calls and e-mails from people I knew, some I had not heard from in years, checking on my health. I was truly surprised and humbled.

A sad day for all.

[a4gturn]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I know I keep posting on my own thread, but I want to thank everyone for sharing their experience...it's helping make this tragedy somehow a little easier to deal with....

[doubleup]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I know I keep posting on my own thread, but I want to thank everyone for sharing their experience...it's helping make this tragedy somehow a little easier to deal with....

+1,000

[ignomini]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I was too close, and saw too much. The young man with MS who died was within ten feet of me. I had not yet heard of his passing when this piece was written. I do not know how close we actualy were the crash site. It was all chaos after the impact.

http://www.ignomini.com/reno.html

It was not my intent to make this public, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised when after sending it to many friends, strangers started contacting me. Please understand it was written for a non aviation crowd, and was not meant to be a journalistic effort, merely a download so I could get some sleep.

God speed to all those who have been affected by Friday's events.

Robert Goldman

[SWAdude]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Thank you for this thread. There are no others around me that can understand my pain for my love of the races since my first visit in 1983 missing only a handful since then. My wife is an angel for attending with me although she has little interest in the races. Therefore we made the trip every year to watch only the Sunday final events. She is so wonderful that the races in 1999 was part of our honeymoon for we were married the day before in Tahoe. We did that to be close to the races for the Sunday finals. Like I said, she is an angel.

I was a young flight instructor in Bakersfield and taught at the school next to where they restored Strega from a piece of junk to the world class racer it is today. That story could take a few pages but I will just say that watching that beautiful airplane slowly become what we know today was a unique opportunity I did not know I would fully appreciate until a bit later in life. But it was that experience that peaked my interests to attend my first Reno Air Races in 1983. And boy did I ever fall in love with them. When I tell the story of the first lap in the finals with Strega in that year, I always get goosebumps. Always.

Every year with a couple exceptions my wife and I go to Tahoe to celebrate our anniversary while attending the races on Sunday. We have always stayed at a hotel in Reno on Saturday night to be close enough to Stead to wake up early on Sunday to get in line with tickets and chairs in hand to sit in the very front row on the ramp in the general admission section. It is more common than not we are first in line. Every year we would see familiar friends from the year(s) before and make new ones that year. Slowly The races have become my extended family that I visit once a year. I tear up just thinking about them now. I hope they are all right. We couldn't remember each others names. We didn't need to. Because we were going to see each other next year. I am praying I will see them next year for more than one reason now. I am more than concerned. I may have lost my Reno family not only to God, but maybe to the authorities if they unwisely discontinue the races.

I am sad. I wasn't there at those races. I was following the race on this forum waiting for the updates that some wonderful members take the time to give. Then the thread "WTF Happened" popped up. I became concerned and confused. Soon it became apparent that one of the aircraft went into the stands. I selfishly thought of my beloved Strega who is a part of me. I soon found out it was GG but there was no relief, just more concern. It became more and more real. I turned on the TV and took the local stations about twenty minutes to break the story to get info out but I found the info on this forum more accurate as usual when it comes to anything aviation. And then this site was taken down. Although frustrated I believed at the time it likely was done with good reason. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to process the reasons. As the news progressed I knew there was no way an accident like that wouldn't produce many deaths and injuries. I am surprised there weren't more than there were. And no fire. How do you explain that miracle?

Aviation is engrained in my spirit and this hits me right in the heart. I have cried and as my wife has said, she has only seen me cry once and that was when a much loved uncle had passed away. I don't cry easy. I can't imagine the feelings of those who witnessed this horrible tragedy. I pray for your healing daily.

I also pray for the victims and their families. There are victims who have died, who were injured, who were witnesses, and those who just love this yearly event who feel so lost and maybe a bit alone like myself. I also pray that I may attend next year.

A thought has gone over and over in my mind about how I can help. Many of us pre-paid for our tickets that we did not use. My thought is to donate that money that will inevitably be available for refund to the victims and families directly involved. I wonder if RARA can organize such a fund.

Many thanks to Wayne for this site, a4gturn for this thread, and sandramore with those dedicated updates that helps most of us through this process. This post is long and I apologize. But it does help.

RIP Jimmy. Thanks for being one of the legends that made that one Sunday a year so much fun exciting.

[doubleup]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

I was too close, and saw too much. The young man with MS who died was within ten feet of me. I had not yet heard of his passing when this piece was written. I do not know how close we actualy were the crash site. It was all chaos after the impact.

http://www.ignomini.com/reno.html

It was not my intent to make this public, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised when after sending it to many friends, strangers started contacting me. Please understand it was written for a non aviation crowd, and was not meant to be a journalistic effort, merely a download so I could get some sleep.

God speed to all those who have been affected by Friday's events.

Robert Goldman

Robert,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so very glad to know you are okay (physically) after being that close. I was further east of you and can't imaging what it was like that close. For what it is worth reading stories like yours helps me. Like I told my wife when she picked me up (she was the last car let into the area before they closed all traffic into the area) "I wish I could un-see, un-hear, and un-smell what I experience."

Thank you again for sharing your story!

[bulldawg66]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

My brother and I each brought a friend that had never seen the air races before. They were both excited about what they were going to get to see.
Shortly before the gold unlimited, my brother and my friend stopped by the end of the reserved seats to watch the race. I was somewhat insistant that we go down to the area in front of Section 3 where we've always watched the races. I'm glad they took my advice.
I was leaning against the fence inside the handicapped viewing area when my world turned upside down. I saw Jimmy pitch up radically and new something was BAD wrong. As GG started to roll and turn toward the stands I remember saying "Oh my God". For an instant it looked as though GG was headed straight for me. I was fixed in place - couldn't move. My brother and friends started to run, but I couldn't move. I just stood there and watched the impact and the chaos that followed, all the while repeating "Oh my God" over and over.
We left Stead when the police came and politely asked us to. Went back to the car and watched all the emergency vehicles coming in. We made sure we called all our loved ones, and responded to the calls and texts from friends who knew we were at the races.
The next day, we did what we would normally do one day out of race week - We headed up into the Sierra Nevada mountains to get lost and look at all the beautiful sights. My insides were hollow. There was no joy, no - "wow, look how beautiful that is! We certainly don't have anything like this back home!" All I could do was drive and keep re-playing the events from Friday over and over in my head.
Finally came home yesterday and started reading all the posts here. So glad this one was started.

As I write this, my four year old little girl sits in my lap with her head on my shoulder. I'm noticing now that I'm holding her a little tighter, and kissing her on her head a little more often than I used to.

My heartfelt prayers go out to the family and friends of all involved in this great tragedy.

Blue Skies and Godspeed, Jimmy.


Tom Mathews

[Ron Lewark]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Our group was in A-83, we've set in it at least 15 years, with our other group in A-84. My 2 son's were along as always. My 36th trip out of the last 38 years. I watched in disblief as he pulled up and saw he was in trouble, I thought he would end up on the other side of the grandstand or maybe the parking lot. GG tumbled a couple of times, reversed course and under power headed for the grandstand and arched out enough to nosedive into the the box seats. The whole event happened fast , but in our minds, it seemed like it was in slow motion. Large and small parts were flying over our heads and I saw my son with a chair held up in front of him trying to fend off parts. He yelled (hit the deck) and we all did. We could feel small stuff peppering us on our backs. I stood up and the announcer said if your ok, wave your arms, I did get a pic of everyone waving that could.
We all stood there in shock at what we saw, Three boxes down, what looked like part of a landing gear hit a women and nearly severed her arm. The medics were working on her, trying to keep her alive. I believe she was one of the fatalities. We were fine with only one of our group getting a small head wound. I walked over under the grandstand to retrive my golf cart, I've got bad ankles and can't walk far. I saw people with blood and bone fragments splattered on them walking around. Just horrible, unbelieveable. We saw several people out in the box seat parking area that were banged up pretty good. It's going to take a long time to try to get over this, we will never be completely over it. Six of us took a relaxing ride around Lake Tahoe Saturday trying to mend our minds. We saddled up the 185 and 182 and flew home to Colorado on Sunday. My son's and I are still talking about it, maybe help us get better. I keep seeing the whole accident happen over and over again in my head here at home. God bless those that died and God help in the recovery of those hurt. Tear time again, so I'm signing off
Ron

[mailman77327]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Was at home in Texas, just home from work. I knew they were doing a live feed on "loadedtv?". They were having trouble with the live feed but managed to get it together with just video...no audio... I was like "no problem its better than nothing." Watching the Bear then what looked like the camera platform...then the camera panned up.

I stated earlier and wanted to say again...
Sunday my 6 year old son, Bryan... he prayed in church for all of you guys...
I hope this gives all of you some sort of comfort...
its helped me.

[glider90]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

The LoadedTV coverage was horrific. I keep seeing the refocus after it panned away from the bear and came back into view. It seems like it took forever to comprehend what I was seeing without the benefit of audio to understand. Why they felt the need to focus in on the impact zone I have no idea. As said before, there is no way to un-see that...I would pay good money to if I could.

[supercub]

Re: Therapy? Where were you, what did you feel

Early in the week, I received a phone call telling me that a close friend and long time employer had passed away suddenly. It was a shock. However the excitment of Reno, plus some newly acquired Air Race friends camped next to me, helped ease the pain. The days passed quickly with qualifying runs and some good conversation. The evenings had some gorgeous sky's that were lit with an occasional thunderstorm.

This was the first year that I was able to spend the entire week at Reno and was surprised by the amount of flying taking place each day. Friends of mine, from here in Modesto work in the pit area, one running a tow vehicle for the racers and the other two run the ADI truck. They to are are close friends of the gentleman that had passed away. I spent a few hours talking with them about our friend, and later the conversation turned to the numerous aircraft that were already there on Sunday for the Races. I believe there were 33 Unlimiteds, and as we all know, it was shaping up to be one of the best years for racing in a long time.
I spent Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in the stands taking the races in. On Friday, a fellow I had never seen was seated next to me, and as often the case at Reno, we started chatting. He had rode his motorcycle up from Napa leaving at 3:00am so as to attend the races for the first time. During one of our conversations, he asked me if accidents ever happened. My reply was yes, I'm sorry to say, but they are few, and no spectators have ever been hurt. I pointed out the tail of the Sport Class racer in the desert that had an engine failure the day before, and told him the pilot had basically walked away. Early in the afternoon he said he was leaving and was taking my recommendation to walk down and look at the aircraft in the Heritage area.

One thing I noticed this year, the bleacher seats seemed to be harder then previous years, I know it can't have anything to do with me being a year older, but no matter what, I was going to stay put to watch the Unlimiteds. I figured it was going to be a great race, what with Strega, Voodoo, Rare Bear and Galloping Ghost going at it. The second best thing about the races has to be the sound. I like many of you, love that sound of 6 or 7 unlimiteds coming down the shoot. Strega as usual jumped out ahead with the other three highly modified birds behind her.

I picked up Galloping Ghost just a second before she pulled up. I know eye witnesses are not the best source for what really happend but, what I saw in my mind is: GG appeared to intially over bank to the left then corrected and rolled to the right with a gradual pull up. My thought was she's having a problem, but didn't observe any oil or smoke. She continued to pull up, and start a continuing steepening turn behind the grandstands. I still figured it was engine problem of some sort, and he was taking the emergency track behind the grandstands. Unlike so many, I never saw a radical pitch up, to me, it just appeared to be a pitch up so many of us have seen when a racer experiences a problem on the course. Like I said, eye witnesses are not the most reliable, and I count myself as one. I was seated, actually standing at the top of the bleachers just east of Section 3. Even when GG rolled inverted, I still didn't believe he was totally out of control. My thought was, what caused it to roll upside down. For a brief, split second, it looked to me that nose pitched upwards slightly, and I thought he was going to roll her right side up and then continue around behind the grandstands and land 26 or 32. A split second later the nose dropped, it was at this point, I knew it was an uncontrollable condition. My first thought was he might crash into my motorhome, parked behind the Boy Scout Parking lot.........I feel a little guilty about this thought, because my concern was for a device that could be replaced, not for my buddy inside, "Sam" my dog, or others that might be out there, nor even the pilot on board. Another split second later the nose dropped straight down and figured he was going into the parked cars just behind the concessions area. It then appeared the nose went from 90 degrees down to about 80 degrees down. At this point, like so many others, it appeared he was coming directly at me. Another split second later I could see he was going to be slightly west of my position as long as he stayed on his current path, however my worst fear surfaced, he was going into the stands. As GG descended, I could see he was going to miss the stands and possible hit on the ramp out in front of everyone......it wasn't going to happen. Everything from the pull up to the crash happened in slow motion......it seemed to take a minute if not longer. I timed one of the videos and it actually only took about 10-15 seconds.
I left the grandstands a couple of minutes later. The announcers who did a great job telling people to stay in place, etc........I feel a little guilty that I left, when requested to stay in place, but I honestly felt the request was for those closer to the accident site.....however, I do realize now that it was meant so as not to block emergency vehicles inbound to the scene from offsite. I did make certain I was well out of their way. I walked back to my motorhome in, for lack of a better word, "in awe" at what I had witnessed. My thoughts were with the victims, however I must admit that I thought I had just witnessed the last Reno Air Races too......I hope I'm wrong. Like many I do hope they continue, and even reserved my camping spot for 2012 before I left. My first words when I got back and saw a couple of the guys camping next to me was, has everyone checked in? Luckily they were all ok, except one, who had fallen and scraped his knee getting out of the bleachers.
Like many, friday evening we talked amongst ourselves and consoled one another, and yes, speculated on the accident. We all stayed with the intentions of attending the memorial on Saturday.
Saturday after hearing the memorial wouldn't take place most packed up........I started too, but after sitting down, I was to tired and decided to stay and leave Sunday morning. Saturday they opened the airport to departures only. Prior to taxing, a special safety briefing was required, I'm not sure what this entailed, but tower asked each aircraft if they had recieved it. The ramp east of the pitts was closed and aircraft were required to back taxi 26 to 32 for departures. Almost every aircraft on departure prior to switching frequencies told the tower "see you next year" I hope they're right.
Monday at work, I was confronted with the normal questions, and tried to answer them as directly and to the point without being overly dramatic. I concluded each and every conversation with comments regarding the excellent saftey record the air races and airhows in general have. Yes it was a terrible accident, however I felt more exposed to a potenial accident on the road driving home, then I ever have at an aviaiton event.
Monday, my mind kept going over and over and over the event leading up to the crash itself. I don't know why, but I don't replay the crash itself, but the pull up, roll and nose dive up to impact. Occasionally video in my mind will include the crash and aftermath, however for the most part it's a replay of the events leading up to the crash.
Today driving home, I heard on the radio where the eleventh victim had died, I pray this is the last one. I also pray that time will help ease the replaying of the terrible event we all witnessed.
As everyone on here has said, and I will to, my thoughts and prayers are with the familes of the deceased, the injured and their families.
I'm also hopeful that we all can attend a sport, like no other in the world, that we love so much in the future, The Reno Air Races.
Brian